When you don’t know where you’re going…

Recently, I was in a foreign city where I didn’t know the language. We may all realise that life is a journey but I had arrived in a part of mine where I didn’t know where I was going. However, I knew this was an opportunity for me to get out of where I had been and move onto the unknown place I was going to.

Setting out with only a bottle of water and a phone for emergency, I looked for signposts and landmarks to show me where I was so that I could return if necessary. The river, railway line and shops should have orientated me but I am spatially challenged at the best of times and have no sense of direction whatsoever. I tried to memorise the directions I took as I started to walk but, as is my wont, I soon started to daydream and once I had lost my focus I was completely lost.

With no idea of where I was or from which direction I had come, my belly began to flutter with fear. It was a relief not to be in the frantic world I had left behind at home but getting lost in a forest which was one of the last natural homes of bears, wolves and lynx in Europe, was hardly sensible. At this point, I thought about turning round and using Google Maps on my phone to lead me back but I knew I needed to go on even if it was into danger.

Choosing not to become caught up with my emotions and determined to rediscover my instincts, I entered the forest and switched on a part of myself I do not usually use. As the dense canopy of trees closed over me, my energy naturally began to drain downwards away from my head into my belly. The moment I entered this new world I realised that I was in nature’s realm, not mine. Realising that I must tread gently and with consciousness, I slowed down my pace and my feet, as if by magic, began to move as though they knew where they were going. Little by little she opened up to me, revealing flowers that spanned the pathways like daisy chains and trees which reached majestically up to the sky as though in praise to something invisible that only they could see.

As though one line of energy was holding me upright from the crown of my head while another rooted my body down into the ground, the confusion of my life fell away and I began to stand straighter and walk taller. Connected like this, I started to trust both myself and the mysterious eternity that was out there. It was like being un-blinded. The walls of the box I’d crammed myself into simply fell away and at last I was able to expand into something greater. No longer was I putting my soul on a diet. I was free to eat as much of this wisdom as I wanted. There was nowhere else I wanted to be. I was here and I was now and that was enough.

In the end, my feet told me when to turn back and I was able to return to my normal life with a new sense of ease and trust. I had been hemmed in by my life and now I was free. No longer did I want to control the uncontrollable. Instead, I was now ready to embrace experience by being curious. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know where to go next. This was my journey and, as long as I trusted that magnificent antenna that was my body, my feet would take me forward when it was time.

So if you find yourself in a difficult place where you don’t know where to turn, or if you have wrapped yourself up so tightly in a comfort blanket that you can no longer move, go for a walk somewhere you have never been before and dare to get lost. Learn to trust yourself again and remember that the map of your life is yours and no-one else’s. If you tread the world you find yourself in with gentleness and respect, she will let you in and then you will be able to feed upon the bounteous wisdom she will offer you.

Happy June

Love Laurelle